Self-esteem
If the voice you use with yourself is often harsh, you may want a different way to understand it. Explore self-esteem and a few gentle conversation prompts without having to rate your worth.
Self-esteem concerns how you see yourself.
Self-esteem is your view of yourself. When it is low, self-criticism can affect the things you feel able to try. Experiences and difficult circumstances can shape that view.
This page does not decide how confident you should be. You can explore a recurring belief and the support you want without turning it into a judgment about your character.
Based on NHS
A self-critical thought is not the whole picture.
- The thought
What you are saying to yourself
- The effect
What it makes harder or limits
- A fuller view
What the thought leaves out
- The support
Someone to explore it with
Notice the self-judgment and the situation around it.
Self-esteem concerns your view of yourself. Persistent criticism can affect choices and daily life. A difficult experience or someone else’s judgment does not establish your value.
The message
What are you telling yourself about what happened?
The context
What expectations or circumstances may be shaping that view?
The effect
Is it making it harder to participate or ask for support?
Based on NHS
What would you like to understand about your self-view?
Examples for reflection, not signs that you are broken.
Self-criticism
Your first response to yourself is often critical.
What you value
You discount things you value about yourself.
Expectations
Other people's expectations feel hard to meet.
Choices you avoid
You avoid something because you expect to fall short.
Based on NHS
A belief is something to explore, not a verdict.
A conversation can look at a self-critical thought and how it affects choices. Counselling or CBT may help if this is affecting daily life.
RSES describes reported global self-esteem. It does not establish a mental-health diagnosis, measure your value or prescribe how confident you should become.
Based on NHS · University of Maryland · Sociology
- 1What do you say to yourself?
One thought you would like understood.
- 2What does it affect?
A choice, relationship or part of your day.
- 3What support would you like?
Listening, a different perspective or a therapy conversation.
Make room for a fuller view of yourself.
These are optional prompts, not affirmations you have to believe.
Notice one harsh thought
What is the thought saying, in your own words?
Try a friend's perspective
What might you say to someone you care about in a similar situation?
Name something it leaves out
A value, effort or quality you would like included in the conversation.
Based on NHS
You can ask for a less critical conversation.
You can choose what feels useful, with room for your circumstances and preferences.
Based on NHS
Support need not depend on forced positivity.
You could discuss a specific recurring self-criticism with a trusted person or therapist. Exploring a belief is different from requiring yourself to feel confident immediately.
If self-criticism is persistent or distressing, talking support may help. You do not need a self-esteem score, a list of achievements or a positive affirmation to justify care.
Based on NHS
A little clarity. A place to start.
Explore a tool, prepare a conversation or find someone to talk to. Choose what feels useful to you.
Prepare for a conversation
A few prompts to help you explain what you have noticed and what you would like help with.
- A simple notes builder
- Copy your notes to keep
- No account needed
You decide how much to write and share.
Find your wordsFind your next kind of support
Explore where to begin with everyday support, professional help or an urgent conversation.
- Ways to ask for help
- Country-specific crisis contacts
- Support at your own pace
If you need urgent help, go straight to support.
Find supportYour first sentence does not need to be perfect.
You can explain what the thought says and what it makes harder. Ask for listening or help exploring it, rather than reassurance that you have passed a confidence test.
Based on NHS
“I'm often very critical of myself, and it affects what I feel able to do. Could we talk about that without treating it as a judgment of my worth?”Make it sound like you
Your questions, with room for nuance.
You can read just the answer you need.
Can a questionnaire measure my worth?
No. Self-esteem questionnaires describe reported self-view, not how valuable or deserving you are.
Based on NHS
Where this information comes from.
Use this hub to learn and prepare questions. It does not diagnose you or recommend a personal treatment plan. By Selfmora editorial; sources checked . Updated .
Additional explanations and examples: sources consulted . Examples illustrate ideas; they do not assess your personal health. Your questions
Our editorial approach