Loneliness
You can feel lonely on your own or among other people. Explore the connection you are missing, the barriers around you and a next step that feels possible without judging your social life.
Loneliness concerns the connection you feel.
Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same. Loneliness can happen in a relationship or a group, and circumstances such as a move, illness or a loss may make connection harder.
You may miss a close conversation, people who share an interest or a sense of belonging. Those needs are personal; a contact count cannot describe them fully.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters
Begin with the connection you want.
- The need
Company, understanding or belonging
- The context
What has made connection harder
- The access
Options that fit your circumstances
- The contact
A manageable place to begin
The kind of connection can matter more than the number of contacts.
You can feel lonely around other people or value time alone without feeling lonely. Loss, moving, illness or barriers to participation may change what connection is available.
Belonging
Where do you feel understood or comfortable being yourself?
Access
What makes contact difficult: energy, cost, transport or something else?
A manageable option
What sort of contact would you actually welcome?
Based on NHS
Which kind of connection feels missing?
Possible reflection areas, not categories you have to choose between.
Feeling understood
You have people around but do not feel understood.
Ordinary company
You miss company for ordinary activities.
Life changes
A change in life has made contact harder.
A point of contact
You want connection but feel unsure where to begin.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters
Describe the need and the barriers together.
You could talk about the connection you want and practical barriers such as access, health or a change in circumstances. If loneliness accompanies persistent distress, a professional conversation can explore both.
The Three-Item Loneliness Scale was developed for large surveys of perceived isolation. It is not a social-skill score, contact count or condition diagnosis.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters · Hughes and colleagues · PubMed
- 1What do you miss?
A kind of company or connection, rather than a number of friends.
- 2What gets in the way?
Access, circumstances, uncertainty or difficult feelings.
- 3What would feel possible?
One point of contact or help finding support.
Choose the kind of contact you want.
One option can be enough. Choose a pace that feels comfortable.
Someone familiar
A short message to someone you would like to hear from.
An interest in common
Look for an accessible activity or group you might like to observe first.
Help finding a route
Ask a local service about support or activities that fit your needs.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters
A comfortable point of contact can be a start.
You can choose what feels useful, with room for your circumstances and preferences.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters
A starting point can be small and suited to you.
A familiar person, shared-interest space or supported local activity may offer different kinds of connection. You can ask about accessibility or observe first if that is possible.
If loneliness comes with persistent distress or low mood, professional support can address that too. There is no required contact quota or promise that joining a group resolves everything.
A little clarity. A place to start.
Explore a tool, prepare a conversation or find someone to talk to. Choose what feels useful to you.
Prepare for a conversation
A few prompts to help you explain what you have noticed and what you would like help with.
- A simple notes builder
- Copy your notes to keep
- No account needed
You decide how much to write and share.
Find your wordsFind your next kind of support
Explore where to begin with everyday support, professional help or an urgent conversation.
- Ways to ask for help
- Country-specific crisis contacts
- Support at your own pace
If you need urgent help, go straight to support.
Find supportYour first sentence does not need to be perfect.
Would you like a conversation, an activity with someone or help finding accessible local support? Start with the kind of contact that interests you; you do not need to explain your whole history.
Based on NHS · NHS · Every Mind Matters
“I've been feeling disconnected. I'd like to talk about the kind of connection I miss and a way to reach it that feels manageable.”Make it sound like you
Your questions, with room for nuance.
You can read just the answer you need.
Can I be lonely in a relationship?
Yes. Loneliness concerns felt connection, not simply whether other people are present.
Based on NHS
Where this information comes from.
Use this hub to learn and prepare questions. It does not diagnose you or recommend a personal treatment plan. By Selfmora editorial; sources checked . Updated .
Additional explanations and examples: sources consulted . Examples illustrate ideas; they do not assess your personal health. Your questions
Our editorial approach